


Say I'm the Only "B" in Your Bonnet

by Anonymous



Category: Gravity Falls
Genre: Abusive Relationships, Crack and Angst, Drabble Collection, M/M, Mostly Pre-Betrayal
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-05
Updated: 2017-11-05
Packaged: 2019-01-30 01:10:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 500
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12643080
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: Bits and pieces about Bill and Ford's terrible, awful relationship.





	1. Chapter 1

“Hey Fordsy, you feeling okay?” asked Bill Cipher. “You look a little pale there.”

Ford laughed. “I’m just starting to feel so… strange around you. Like I’m dizzy, or giddy, or something.”

“So you’re getting the ol’ butterflies I the stomach around me, eh?” Bill scratched what might have been a chin.

“W-well, that’s one way of putting it.” Ford blushed.

“Y’know, I’m starting to get butteflies in the stomach around you, too, Sixer!”

“Really?” asked Ford.

“Sure, you wanna see?” Bill opened his eye-mouth. Millions of giant butterflies swarmed out, covering Ford’s mindscape.

“Holy--!” Ford shrieked.

“Neat trick, huh?”


	2. Questionable Behavior

One night, when he was working out inter-dimensional travel theory with Bill, Ford asked him a question. “Do you ever see our relationship becoming something more than… you know, what it is right now?”

“Whatcha mean, Fordsy?”

Ford turned away, blushing. “W-well, I mean, if you and I had a relationship, and that relationship turned… intimate…”

“Oh, I know what you’re talking about!”

“Really?!”

“Yeah, I’ve been peepin’ on your sexual fantasies since we first met!” said Bill. “Kinkiest mortal I ever knew! Loved the dog leash one, by the way.”

Ford scowled. “I would like to wake up now.”


	3. Stitches

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Written before the release of Journal 3.

Ford walked the eerie ruins of his mindscape. The books that lined its pathways were in disarray, their pages long since torn out. He was shocked, but not surprised, to see Bill waving at him.

“So. You _can_ still haunt my dreams.”

Bill shrugged. “Sure, but the view’s not so good since you installed that tin can ‘round your head. Can’t poke around much, anymore. How’s those stitches feeling?”

“Fine,” Ford lied. “Pain’s almost gone.”

“Shame,” said Bill. “Listen, we both don’t want to drag this out, so how’s about quitting?”

“Drop dead,” said Ford.

“Hard way it is, then.”


	4. Possesion is Nine Tenths of the Deal

“Hey, Fordsy, mind if I take over?”

Ford made no reply, but simply relaxed and let Bill enter his mind. The question was just a formality, anyway; there was no way Ford would refuse.

The pleasant sensation of Bill filling every essence of his being soothed Ford, so much so he hardly noticed the rest of the world fading away as he trundled off into the Mindscape. There he stayed, until Bill finished whatever he did out there. Then Ford rejoined the waking world.

He could see Fiddleford glaring at him when he woke up. Some people just couldn’t understand.


	5. Sex Machine

“Bill,” said Ford, “I don’t think this device is safe.”

“Sure it is, Sixer!” chirped Bill. He patted the rusting heap of metal, screws, and bolts. “I know you’ve been feeling down whenever I take off for a while, so I made you this… ‘sensual enhancement device’ to make up for it.”

“Hmm, well…”

“C’mon, Fordsy!” Bill clamped a hand on his shoulder. “You’re a smart guy, right?”

“Of course!” Ford proclaimed.

“And smart guys trust me, right? Admit it, experience has borne this out.”

“Well…” Ford thought it over. “Alright! I’ll give it a whirl.”

Bill suppressed a snicker.


End file.
